Why do we hurt?
In the beginning, before there were human beings, before planets, stars, and even light, God spoke the Word and manifested himself through the Big Bang. So mighty was His word, the fundamental building blocks for all creation, earth, water, fire, air, and space were born in that monumental effulgent eruption of grace. Yet, at that same moment, a primal wound was opened in the energetic field, a wound that reverberated throughout the Universe. For human beings, it is a reminder that the source of creation lies beyond any physical form.
In its essence, the primal wound is one of separation from God and it was born the moment God manifested Himself as physical reality. That moment is reflected in the story of Adam and Eve as told in the Abrahamic religions of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, an allegory for how the primal wound was formed. Eden represents God, the Source of All, the conscious nothingness which contains within it the Tree of Knowledge whose fruit represents the sum of all possibilities. Eating its fruit, God separated Himself from Himself to become the physical reality. Since that moment of separation, when ‘Adam and Eve’ were cast out of Eden, everything in the Universe holds this primal wound. It is reflected in how everything in the Universe is at the mercy of Kala, time. Nothing physical lasts forever, not even the Universe itself…
For human beings who are blessed with self-awareness, this primal wound is not only a reminder there is a dimension beyond form, but a reason to keep searching, to rise above the pain of separation and the suffering it unleashes. In Astrology of Joy, we divide the primal wound into four basic categories: rejection, abandonment, betrayal, and shame (See Table 1). These afflictions create modifications of the mind that influence every aspect of our life until the moment we separate ourself from our past. The purpose of our life, the meaning of this game within which we find ourselves, is to reclaim the Eden within us where there is no past, just our one true nature connected to the Source of All, God.
In astrology, the Source of All is represented by the Sun. The Sun is the brightest, most visible object in the sky; it symbolises God, the Father, the creator, the Source of All. It is only through the Sun that life exists on Earth. In the same way, it is only through the Sun that we are able live a fulfilling life. The Sun in astrology represents our connection to God and manifests as our dharma, our life plan. When we are aligned with our dharma, with the life plan instilled within us by God, the Creator, our life flows naturally, without effort, and we rest in a state of ease that is beyond all understanding.
Yet, the opposite is also true. Deviating from our dharma, we suffer. The more we ‘get off track’, the more we suffer. In this sense, we can use our suffering as a gauge for determining the quality of our relationship to God and the extent to which we have separated ourselves from Him. Enlightenment is simply letting go of the illusion that we are separate and reclaiming our rightful place in the Kingdom of God.
“The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.”
Jesus to the Pharisees, Luke 17:20–21 (NKJV)
Why do we deviate from our dharma? The primal wound pushes us to do so. Having forgotten our true home, Eden, we first seek resolution in the world (Virgo) with all its possibilities. When this fails, we attempt to stop the pain through relationships and sex (Libra). For most, this is how their life unfolds and, in the end, they leave this world with regrets only to try again in another life.
For others, however, a realisation dawns, that neither the world nor another person will ease the pain in their heart. This moment is encapsulated in the sign of Scorpio whose symbol, the scorpion, stings one into wakefulness. Though there is still much inner work to be done, such people have at least a spark of awareness which can become a blaze through grace and self-effort.
To gain a better understanding of how the primal wound affects your life, draw your attention to its basic transmutations in Table 1 below: rejection, abandonment, betrayal, and shame. These exist as subconscious impressions within us, reverberations from that first moment when physical reality was born, separated from God. Each of these transmutations are always at play in our life in different combinations, creating modifications in the mind that keep us from making choices beneficial to ourselves and others.
In astrology, these modifications have a past (Ketu, the South node) and a present-future (Rahu, the North node). They have a history made up of countless lifetimes and when one life is not enough to express them, they are carried over into the next life. In this way, every human being carries with them into their life the burden of the primal wound which in turn causes us to attempt to escape its pain. How? Through Rahu, the North node, the shadow planet of desire.
Rahu in Vedic astrology represents the areas of life where we attempt to escape the pain and constriction of the primal wound. Those of you who have had a Vedic astrology reading with me understand how Rahu is a very difficult energy to harness, process, and express in a beautiful way. Without the guidance of a strong connection to one’s inner virtues, Rahu is like attempting to ride a wild horse: untamed it can take you to the edge of a cliff… and into the abyss of suffering. For many, it often does.
Rahu is Maya, illusion. It draws us into actions that lead to suffering through worldly enticements, sensuality, and promises of pleasure. Wherever it is in your chart reveals where it is you battle to keep your wits about you. Rahu shows where people lose their discrimination, boundaries, moral compass, and, sometimes, even their sanity. A person with Rahu in the first house, for example, is preoccupied with their own survival. For one with Rahu in the seventh, they find themselves in an exhausting cycle of relationships, affairs, and sex which serve only to leave them energetically depleted and disillusioned.
Nevertheless, Rahu can be tamed; after all, unmodified by the primal wound, Rahu is the creative impulse of Consciousness. When expressed in accordance to one’s dharma, Rahu is powerful in its capacity to create, whether it be new inventions or a new life. Rahu cannot be tamed through will power; the power of Rahu can only be harnessed by raising one’s level of consciousness.
Still, you can use the table above to help guide you towards actions that will actually benefit you and others. When we are caught in Rahu’s web, our actions are hurried, impulsive, compulsive, obsessive, restless, and even temporarily insane. Like a ten-headed demon, Rahu tramples logic, reason, and objective thinking and we don’t even notice, so inflamed our our passions, our fears, and our desperate attempt to escape the pain of the primal wound.
When you feel restless to make a decision, pause. Reflect on the modifications in Table 1 to see which wound could be making you feel off centre. For example, if your relationship is strained and you sincerely want to improve it, look at the table to see where you might be limiting or holding back progress. Ultimately, one must understand that, although they are not responsible for how another person feels, they are completely responsible for providing what is needed in any given moment. This is what responsibility means, the ABILITY to RESPOND. This takes willingness.
It is really very simple: we feel miserable because we have strayed from our true nature, the authentic plan that God instilled within us so He could experience the delight of being human. The only reason we stray from our authenticity is because one or more of the modifications in Table 1 is rearing its head from our past and insisting that we make this choice or that, but what our hurt urges us to do is completely contrary to what is needed in order to “get back on track”.
Embrace your authenticity one breath at a time. Allow your one true nature, that which you are and always have been, to be your guide in whatever decisions you face. The key to knowing when this happens is to simply look at your state of mind. Let joy be your guide. When we make decisions from our joy, we have invited our divinity in to help guide us. Joy is God and through Joy we will do good works. After all, the Kingdom of God is within you and Joy is its banner.
